Tuesday, 27 May 2008

An amazing story I read somewhere.

This is a wonderful story I read somewhere. I am not the author. And I do not know who the author is. Would like to read more of his works if I come across them.

Kaalchakra bar

1975 Jan 1
It was about five in the morning. Father (I am not bothering with names) woke up with a start. Many years had passed since he had founded the orphanage. He had named it ' X-Orphanage ', a rather funny name. But looking back, everything about his life seemed funny now. Hearing some noise outside, Father decided to have a look.
A child lay there in front of the orphanage. It was a girl. Seeing her abandoned like this in the cold morning, Father felt a sense of anger for the merciless being who had thrown her away like this. He took her in his arms. He would raise her like his own child.

17 Years Later
The girl had now grown up. She was now staying at a hostel. She met a man and fell in love with him. Soon she got pregnant. But the man disappeared. She was thrown out of the Hostel. Father came and took her back to the orphanage. She gave birth to a girl. During the pregnancy, the girl becomes unconcious, so to get help, Father uses a Time Machine to go 5 years in the future. There he sees a bar called as Kalachakra, He wears a mask, goes inside and forces a bearded man with him back to 1992.
But this whole activity is too much for his old age. He gets an asthma attack, so he pleads with the bearded man to help the girl, and goes into another room to take some rest. While he is resting, the bearded guy steals the time machine, and the baby, and vanishes. Unable to bear all this, the Father commits suicide.

5 years later
Due to some serious health problems, the girl goes to see a Doctor. The doctor examines her, and says with a sad expression on his face, " Adrenalo Sytosis, a serious case of hormone imbalance ". An operation is performed in which the doctor changes the sex of the patient.

The girl is now transformed into a man. The man is very depressed because he had lost his child, his father had committed suicide, his lover had betrayed him, he had to change sex and so on. He eventually takes to drinking.
One day he sees that a new bar called ' Kaalachakra Bar ' which has opened in his locality. He goes in. He sees a bearded man to whom he relates his sad tale. The bearded man takes pity on him and tells him that he has a Time Machine and that he can use it to change his past. He accepts the gift from the bearded man. He decides to go to the past (to the year 1992) and starts the Time Machine!

The man arrives with the Time Machine in the year 1992. There he meets a girl and falls in love with her. The girl gets pregnant. The man, unwilling to marry her, leaves the town. He goes to another city, earns some money and five years later comes back to the city where the girl lives. Wanting to conceal his identity, he grows a beard. He starts a bar named 'Kaalachakra Bar'. One day a man came to the bar and narrates a sorrow tale. Out of compassion, he gives the Time Machine to the man. The man starts the Time Machine and goes back to the past.
Suddenly a man wearing a mask comes into the bar. He points a gun at the bearded man. He says that he has a Time Machine and forces the bearded man into it along with himself. Taking the bearded man with him, the masked man starts the Time Machine. When they reach the past, the masked man enters a house which contains an unconscious girl, and a newborn baby. Strangely, the masked man leaves the room saying that he is very tired and wants to take some rest. Sensing that the masked man might be psychotic, the bearded guy picks the time machine and the baby and runs away to safety. He starts the time machine and goes to the past.

1975 Jan 1
The bearded man arrives with the girl. Thinking that it was the best place for the child, he leaves her in front of X-Orphanage. He joins a college, studies hard and becomes a doctor.

One day a woman is brought to the hospital. He examines her and finds that its a serious case of 'Adrenalo Sytosis'. He performs an operation in which he changes her sex. One day, fed up with the complexities of modern life, he starts the Time Machine and goes back in time.

1968 May 12
He arrives at a time of great famine and suffering. Seeing all this, he decides to become a priest and serve the people. He starts an orphanage and names it 'X-Orphanage'. Years later, he finds a girl lying in front of the orphanage. He takes her and brings her up like his own child. Many years later he hears that the girl was pregnant and was thrown out of the hostel. He brings her back to X-Orphanage. She gives birth to a girl and falls unconscious. The father desperately searches for help, but since there is no-one nearby to help him, he decides to bring a person back from the future. He wears a mask, takes a gun for protection and starts the Time Machine. He materializes in front of 'Kaalachakra Bar'. He goes inside, finds a bearded man and forces him to travels with him to the past. Reaching the past, and being very old, he gets an asthma attack. He tells the bearded person that he is going to take some rest and leaves the room. When he returns after some time, he hears the sad news from his daughter that the baby was stolen. Unable to bear the sorrow, he commits suicide.

Swati's Question:
Where did the time machine come from in the first place?

Thursday, 3 April 2008

Who killed Mrs. McDonald?

Opening scene:
Narrator: Mr McDonald is in detective JBoss IDE’s office.
Mr : I think my wife is having an affair JBoss. I want you to keep an eye on her.
JBoss: Okay Mr. McDonald, by the way are you talking about the famous Kazhakuttamwood actress.
Mr: Yes unfortunately. And don’t forget to come for the party. You can meet everyone there. I will introduce you as my friend.
JBoss: Yes that would be fine. In the meantime, my assistant DotNet would keep an eye on her.
Scene: McDonald’s living room
Narrator: Mr and Mrs McDonald are fighting a week prior to the party.
Mrs: C'mon you have to come to the party. After all its my birthday.
Mr.: I am not interested in any of your birthdays.
(And then says shrewdly to himself: All i am interested in is your death day.)
Mrs. The whole industry will be out there. The party is very important for my career.
Narrator: Just then, Mr. McDonald's mentally retarded son, Java , who is Mrs. McDonald's step son, steps in. He had been listening to the conversation between Mr and Mrs McDonald.
Java: Party, Party! I wanna go to the party! Mama, mama when is the party? (He asks with an innocent look on his face).
Mrs: Shut up Java! The party is not for you.
(Java gives Mrs McDonald a cunning look.)
Java: I will kill you. Grrrrrr.
Mrs: Oh, shut up, you fool!!.
Narrator: Mrs McDonald hated her step son, but Mr. McDonald loved java.
Mr: You are not to talk to Java like that. He is very much attending the party.
Mrs: (To Mr. McDonald, in a more soothing voice) But my reputation is at stake.
Mr.: I am only attending the party if Java is.
Mrs: (Indifferently)Okay, whatever.
Narrator: Mrs McDonald is talking on the phone with her old boy friend DB2. Mr McDonald overhears her.
Mrs: (On the phone) Why dont you understand? I cant meet you.
DB2: I am coming to the party.
Mrs: No please dont come.
DB2: You have to meet me. I promise it will be the last meeting.
(After putting down the phone, talking to himself: It will be your last meeting with anyone. And he laughs cruelly)
Next Scene: Living room.
Narrator: Mrs McDonald is talking to her PA Oracle regarding the guest list for the party.
Mrs: So Oracle, you have the list. Invite all of them. Dont forget to invite my friend Maggi.
Oracle: Yes Maam I will surely do so.(With a cold smile)
Mrs: And what about the money that you had taken from me. I want it back after the party.
Oracle: (Smile vanishing from his face) I dont have the money.
Mrs: I dont know all that. I want my money back else I am handing you over to the police.
(Mrs McDonald leaves the room)
Oracle: (Crushing an Invitation card in his fist) This will be the last birthday of your life, you foolish woman.
Narrator: Oracle is inviting people for the party. He has just invited the producer/director Mainframes. And now is calling up Maggi, who happens to be Oracle’s girlfriend.
Oracle: I am telling you sweetie, the party is the right occasion. You have to come.
Maggi: Yeah, think you are right. I want my revenge on my sweet little friend. Unless she is out of my way, Mainframes will not sign me in for his movie.
Oracle: Yes and she is pestering me for the money too. Lets shoot two birds with a stone.
Scene: At the party.
(Mrs McDonald is talking to Mainframes. All the time avoiding eye contact with DB2. DB2 is looking at her with murderous looks)
Mainframes: You have to give me dates. My movie is hung half way through.
Mrs: I don’t have time Mainframes.
Mainframes: But you promised me and now the movie is shot half way.
Mrs: Well…..
(Just then DB2 catches hold of her attention and starts talking to her)
DB2: You cant avoid me like this. Else I will tell about all your deeds to your husband.
Mrs: I have told you so many times I don’t want to talk to you. You may do as you wish.
(And she moves away to meet Maggi while DB2 stares at her coldly and also her husband.)
Maggi: (With a false smile on her face) Happy Birthday.
Mrs: (Showing off her new bracelet) Thank you dear.
Maggi: (Muttering to herself) Such a show off. I will show her today.
(Just then Java comes in near Mrs McDonald. )
Java: Happy Birthday mama.
(And he shakes her hand thus spilling her drink on her dress.)
Mrs.: You fool, hadn’t I told you not to come to the party.
Java: I will kill you.(Angrily)
Mrs: Excuse me everyone, I will just be back.
She goes to her room to change. Suddenly the people in the party hall hear her say “Oh no not you”, followed by her scream and then a gunshot is heard.
DotNet: Nobody is to leave the room please.
JBoss and DotNet examine the scene and conference in hushed tones. Finally JBoss announces.
JBoss: I have examined this case from all angles. I see that Mrs McDonald had a problem with practically everyone in here. I know the murderer is in this room itself. And the murderer is……
~~~~~~~~~AND THE CURTAIN CLOSES ~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, 16 March 2008

Another misadventure bites the dust.

Time: 9 PM.

Place: Railway station of Bangalore.

Reason for being there: To catch a train. (I don’t mean we were playing running catching with the train. To put in a better term, to board a train)

Reason for catching train: To attend my cousin’s wedding in a place elsewhere.

Reason for my cousin getting married: Because he had found a suitable bride.

Reason for………….. Aaaahhhh I guess enough of this crappy background information, which is not at all needed.

Now coming back to my story (Misadventure more like), I was in the railway station with a whole bunch of my relatives. We were walking in smaller groups towards platform number 9(I guess). Anyways, to hell with the platform number. I was walking with a few of my cousins and we were about to cross the track of platform number 8.

A train stood still on the platform we were crossing. Suddenly my cousin stopped and clicked a picture of the train. Then he said to me, “Have you ever clicked a photo standing in front of a train?” I looked at him and said, “Why don’t you stand there? I will take a pic of you.”

He said, “Naah, I prefer clicking pictures to getting them clicked.” And so, it so happened that finally I stood right in front of the train engine, less than a foot away from it in the front. I had stood there barely half a minute and the people on the platform and in the train started yelling. We wondered what was wrong. And then we realized that they were yelling that the train is about to start and so I should move away.

I moved just in time. The train started moving. If I had stood there a second longer, it would have run over me. Another misadventure added to my long list of misadventures.

Once away, my cousin remarked to me, “You know that would have been the strangest accident ever.” And we both burst into laughter.

The only thing that I regret about this whole episode is that I couldn’t get the snap in front of the train. Aah what a memory it would have been.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

Misadventures - why do I have them ALWAYS!!!!

(Read along the tune of summer of '69 by brayan adams)

i had my 1st real misadventure,
when exactly dunno the time,
i must have been really small then,
maybe the year of '89,
me n my misadventures in school,
have troubled everyone around really hard,
as if to misadventures i was married ,
should have known it would last all along,
oh when i look back now,
my misadventures have lasted forever ,
dont know if i had a choice ,
misadventures have always been there,
there are many more misadventures in my life.

aint no use in complaining ,
when stupid things are all you do,
misadventures begin even before i walk in
its everywhere i meet them ya,
standing on my very own porch,
they told me i will have them forever ,
oh when they hold my hand,
i know they will leave me never ,
there are many more misadventures in my life,
oh ya i have misadventures all the time.

man even while killing time,
i am young n restless ,
with me my misadventures,
i guess will last with me forever ....... forever ohhh,

and now the misadventures are changing ,
now i have a bigger version of those long gone,
misadventure are still behind me chasing ,
and thats when things go wrong.
standing on my very own porch,
they told me i will have them forever ,
oh when they hold my hand,
i know they will leave me never ,
there are many more misadventures in my life,
oh ya i have misadventures all the time.

it is misadventures all the time,
ohhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!
me n misadventures,
ohhhhhhhhhhh, ohh
misadventures, misadventures all the time.....